December 08, 2021
If you are going through a divorce or separation, then you probably dread the upcoming holiday season. All of those commercials with loving, in-tact families giving gifts to each other might make you sick to your stomach. The holidays might make you question whether your divorce or separation was the right thing, or how the end of long-standing family traditions during the holidays affects your children. Don’t lose hope. Here are five important ways that you can protect yourself from misery during the holiday season.
Now is the time to regain your composure and to realize that you are strong enough to make it through your situation, however hard it may be. As you are going through the holidays, take the time that you need to regroup. Care about yourself. You and your children might be facing big changes in your lives which can seem intimidating. You’ll need the strength and perseverance. Moreover, your physical and mental health might be seriously affected by the separation or divorce. It is understandable to feel guilt and loneliness especially during the holidays. Rather than let this eat away at you, take control of your mind and body by focusing on diet, exercise, rest and support from others. Critically, it is important to stay positive and love your life. Don’t underestimate your resilience in these trying times.
Now that the holidays are here, you might be wondering how you will celebrate with family. Perhaps you are used to visiting with family members on certain dates and locations. Your divorce or separation does not necessarily nix those events, but you might want to be flexible and think about alternative arrangements that could suffice. Perhaps you spend time with family members on a different day, or you take on a new and exciting activity that can bring you and your family some comfort and joy. Change can really be a good thing. Who knows, maybe you begin a new tradition involving family and friends.
Keep in mind that there are trained professionals who are experienced at coaching people through divorce. You could reach out to a therapist, social worker, psychologist or other medical professional who will take time to understand your situation and then come up with a plan to help you resolve it. Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness.
You might not want to socialize during this time, but it can be helpful to see how other family members or friends are doing. Sometimes the greatest gift that you can give someone is your time and attention. Relatedly, volunteering for those who are less fortunate than you could give you a much needed sense of gratitude. For example, you could help out with the festivities at your local church or synagogue. You could volunteer at a soup kitchen.
Although emotions might run high, it could be greatly beneficial through your separation or divorce to maintain civility with your ex. To the extent that you and your ex have children, you both might have conflicting needs for your children come the holidays. Maybe you have plans that can be modified as an accommodation to the children’s other parent. Anticipate these scheduling conflicts so that you can address them with your ex in time and with less contention. Your children don’t want to see you and the other parent fight anyway – especially during the holidays.
Don’t wait for the holidays to just creep up on you before you react. Try to nail down what events or activities matter the most to you and your children and get to planning. Involve your children in your decision-making process. And if your children will be spending part of their holidays with their other parent, then don’t forget about keeping yourself occupied while you have some spare time so that you don’t feel lonely. Take advantage of time that you can spend with others and to undertake activities that you like to do but which are normally a hassle with children involved. Inner Vision Legal is a reputable family law firm who has counseled thousands of Oklahomans regarding divorce, child custody, child support and more. Inner Vision Legal strives to obtain the best results for its clients and to provide quality services at a reasonable cost. Consult with the experienced family law lawyers at Inner Vision Legal today.